Due For Refurbishment 
doodle demon 

Photoshop Tutorials

After I spotted a few hundred shortcuts using the alt key that I missed in the article last year I decided not to bother pursuing this venture - if people are desperate, they can always go to photoshopuser.com or google and run a search for tips. I spend enough of my time muttering about Photoshop to anyone that'll listen that I should really find something else to devote a website to.

This is my first update of 2007 and sparked by a rather strange thing - not being able to access a clients' site because they've changed the password. So, instead of spending the night at the World Wide Web Consortium cleaning up the rather messy XHTML I used, I'm struggling to find filler for this place.

My first port of call, as always, is the phone storage card...

it's not craig reallyThis was something showing at St. Martins during the summer. The similarities with Craig were very worrying. The fact you can see his ribs kind of ruins the illusion though.

Also, Paolo is off to Brazil today - hopefully he's arrived safe and won't be a rabid cocaine monkey on his return in a few years. This photo was taken at his 'Leaving England' do in December. Paolo and Wojtek in a pub in LondonThe handsome pole is Wojciek, with the hat that has taken over the East End of London since he started wearing it. I now have to look at people's faces and beards before starting to rabbit, the phenomenon has caught on so widely. The man is a walking trend setter!

Also off soon is Marie to Jamaica to see her family. I don't have any photos that do the woman justice, although this one shows how much she belongs in warmer climes. It was possibly a little drafty that day.


There's probably a record of me saying "there's going to be major changes this year" in every first page of the year on this site. However, this time it's definitely got to happen, otherwise I'll probably go insane.

I feel that I've bought a little professionalism into my life by actually forking out for the Adobe Creative Suite (seriously, all you freelance pirates out there - it's worth it - just think of indesign and PSD layer comps - save yourself a fortune in Zip Discs!;), and getting the site finished today (remember what I wrote earlier?) felt good, even if I know it won't validate as a peanut.

Lizzy sent me one of those circulars saying that I'd be guaranteed great luck if I forwarded a 300K powerpoint slideshow made by some wingnut in Holland to 20 people - I was especially amused by the last 100K telling me about Pablo, Juan and Jennifer who received the thing in the '60s and had all gone on to have fantastic lives after putting their minds to passing the drivel on. I of course cursed myself to <n> number of years by deleting it, but I'm having second thoughts now.

Seeing as Gandalf in the Netherlands couldn't have been passing on the exact same tripe as Pablo Juan and Jennifer had received 20 years before the invention of the personal computer, and that I get roughly 20 hits a year from this site, I'd like all readers to cut and paste the following into an email and send it on to everyone in their address book.

Awareness is great

Money can't buy you God*
Everyone needs a bit of luck
We should all keep our eyes open
And listen to people too

Send this to everyone in your address book and you will be blessed with 10 years worth of Good Luck.
Send this to 20 people in your address book and you will be blessed with 5 years worth of Good Luck.
Send this to any less than 20 people and the angel Theutus will ravage you and your family for eternity.
Ignore this message and you will poke yourself on something sharp within the next three weeks.

Have a happy life!

*Actually, you can buy yourself in with pretty much any god, the most economical being Bob of course.

What's Out There Today?

Looking at the Subgenius link above, I see that the 'other' Bob has departed. My condolences to Robert Anton Wilson's family and friends around the world. Hail Eris! It leaves me a little shaken, after the effect he's had on my way of thinking. Julian Cope mentionned RAW in his autobiography, though not by name, suggesting that he was so far up his own arse he'd have had difficulty seeing any light at all. I prefer to think of him as an educator, and if he thought of himself as a genius, fair enough, it doesn't change my world to know that. And even Cope admits (with some incredulity) that the madness he inspired, once it became apparent to him, wasn't as mad/bad as it had seemed it the time. If anything it paints Cope as trying to clutch at 'reason' at a time when there was little of them about.

This is the (valid!) web page of David Santorum and Nuisance Graphics in the year of 2007.